Valentines Letter From a Kalenjin

12 Feb

JOPRI BLETING,
B.O. POX 7708,
ELTRET.

My Tia Cherobon,

what’s ub my tia…..how are you? I hobe tis
letter fints you alaif and well. Uko boa? uko
jonjo? cha kwansa kapisa ni kusema file nimekumiss.

Kila mara nikikuwasa roho yangu inakimpia
unaesa tania imeenda Olymbic. I cand wait to see you aken. waja niwajane na story mingi na niseme tu my boind. Kuna shita maali.

Nimekuwa nikiconsold my calendar na imeinsisnt kwampa Falendains day ni hii fraitei. Naelewa kwampa kama mwanaume unapenta mwanamuke ya ukweli kabisa pasi ni lasima umfanyie chambo kupwa kwa siku kama hio.

Lakini my tia cheropon, mbona tuanse
kuchifanya haba ni kama mabensi yetu ni ya
siku mocha pekee? kwani nakubenda feprwar 14th pekee alapu nakujukia the rest of the year? Hapana. Mimi nakupenda kila ziku ya mwaga my tia. Sioni mpona nikutandike makopi ya mabensi siku mocha bekee alapu the resti of the year upaki umesupaa.

Sawa hata tukisema ningetaka kukuspoil hii
fraitei, opshens ni mbili. Either niombe
overdraft kwa bank, ama nikupeleke hoteli
mocha cheap hapo kambi kuku. Hio opshen ya pili nachua huwes kupali hata na tawa.

Mambo ya overdraft nayo itakuwa ngumu.
Itabidi umeamua kama niombe overdraft ya
Falendains ama ya kukulipia collech ukiansa
march. Your wish is my commant my tia.
I highly succhest that hio siku you keep
yourself fery fery busy. Kama unafyoona,
mfua imeansa. Afatali usimamie ndume
ikilima shamba mjana yote alapu chioni ulale mapema chuu utakuwa umechoka yako yote.

Alafu ukitaka usisikie fipaya, siku hio usiongee na hawa marapiki sako kama cheptum, chepkor na chepringis. Hao watakuringia na masawadi sao lakini hata hawachui hawa ma poyfrens wao huwa ni wesi. wanaipanga fidu

Nairopi na kuusa alapu wana-mbesa hao.
Nachua kweli inasemekana kwampa mtu
hawesi kula mabensi pekee, lakini hio
Falendains day wewe jaripu kukula mabensi
yangu tuone kama utakupa. Anyways wewe Chua nakubenda siku 365 a year. Mabensi ya siku mocha kwa mwaka wajia masongo wenye wako na makalfren mia
tatu.

*****TETIX*****

1.All of me – John Legend
2. Trank in Laf – peyonze ft. Chay sii
3. Hakuna yule – Afril.

Yours Completely n Totally in laf,

Jobri “Lafi taffy” Kibleting.

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